The Place Between Staying and Going

A wise man once said, when reflecting on a season of uncertainty:

“Waiting is the place between staying and going” (Thank you, Saint Bobby Rutherford).


Now, all jokes aside, this is something much easier said than done- especially in a season of trial, where all we want to do is either go back to the good old days, or fast forward to the better ones that hopefully await us. 

Often times, we won’t find ourselves begging God to keep us in the middle of a storm, but to silence the thunder, calm the raging seas, and rescue us out of it.

I often reflect on my waiting seasons of life- the painful places where I had no choice, but to sit between staying and going. 

At some of my lowest of lows, I remember asking- really, begging God, “Lord, would you fix this situation? Would you bring supernatural redemption? Would you save me from this situation that I can’t fix, and do what I can’t do?” I wanted out of the waiting and pain more than I wanted a fresh revelation of God’s character.



I will never forget the hardest season of my young adult life, when on my tear-stained bathroom floor in my tiny New York City apartment, I made the conscious decision to not only cry out to God from the depths of my despair, but to change my prayer language from “Lord, change this” to Lord, change me.”

It was in my honest longing and crying out for the Lord that I realized: begging God to remove the trial instead of inviting Him into the mess would have been one of the biggest disservices to my faith. 

Even before I prayed that new prayer, I went back and fourth between wanting God to just pull me out of the chaos, or to show me a new side of His heart in the midst of it all. I knew I had no control over the heartbreak I was experiencing. I knew that God was still good, even though my life didn’t feel very good- but it never really hit me until that season how much “no” could be just as much an answer to prayer the same way that a “yes, and I’ll save you” could be. It was after the “no” that I discovered a side of God’s heart for me that I never knew the depth of until I was in my own depths of despair.

Sometimes waiting at these depths is the biggest blessing in disguise, because the only place we can look is up; and so we get to look at Him.

When our situation doesn’t change, God still offers full redemption. So what if our depths really are an invitation to immerse our situation in God? To understand more of His character and heart, and to go from a prayer posture of, “Lord, change this” to Lord, change me.”


If you find yourself entangled in sin, the depths of despair, or in the place between staying and going today, be encouraged: “They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint” (Isa. 40:31).